about you-know-what, women don't even think about. "But we won't go into that," the doctor says. No, Bob, of course not, I say.

This is about wholesome Giant Pumpkins, and wholesome Giant Corn. I explain to the doctor how two years ago, and the year before that, I had a whole bunch of readers participate in growing those two kinds of Giant Vegetables. It all started when I read that gardening is the country's most popular hobby, with about 78 million adults out there cultivating something. I figured I'd try something different, and ended up having readers growing corn that reached 16 feet.

Then I kind of forgot about the contest. But the readers didn't. I've received e-mail from Switzerland, from the Dominican Republic and even Puyallup asking about Giant Vegetables. The contest is back, vegetable to be named at the end of the column. Meanwhile, I pondered the whys of Giant Vegetables and guys.

"There may be a connection going back to caveman days, with males getting the cutest woman and dragging her up the hill," Butterworth says. "And . . . it's because it is competitive. That's why men are so involved in sports. Men always have the pressure to be the best. That's why men get much more depressed when they lose a job than women do. Try this. Go up to a woman and ask what `they do.' She'll say she's a mother and she works. A guy, he'll say he's a plumber or a doctor or whatever, because that's how he identifies himself."

So there you have it, a supposedly serene hobby like gardening, and leave it to guys to turn it into a competition for growing the biggest. Of course, the doctor says, gardening might be a way for guys to secretly let the "nurturing element" come out. Or maybe not.

Thanks for the quotes, Dr. Butterworth!

Now let me introduce you to John Evans, 50, a mechanical designer who lives 40 miles north of Anchorage in Palmer, Alaska. He holds seven world records for Giant Vegetables. (Pictures are available on the Web at www.recordholders.org.)

"I've grown a cabbage that was over 8 feet in diameter, zucchini that weighed 56 pounds, Swiss chard that was over 9 feet, a head of broccoli that was over 2 feet in diameter! Last year my celery was 8 feet 6 inches tall!" Evans tells me. Though summers are short in Alaska, it does helps that the sun lasts 20 hours a day.

Evans especially loves the month of August, when the veggies are really growing.

"They go into warp drive, and you can quote me on that! Warp drive!" he says. "Imagine a Swiss chard growing 3 or 4 inches in a day! I'm just like a kid in a candy store. It's like somebody being at a race track, that same kind of excitement, building up day by day, until it's time to show them at the fair."

Jeez, just writing that paragraph got my adrenaline going....